Update: Leaving my grandmother’s house at around 7:00 p.m. tonight, my mother snapped two bones in her lower leg. The crack was incredibly loud and now she needs surgery next week to insert two plates in her leg to stabilize her right ankle. In essence, she’s going to be in a cast and on crutches for at least two months, which is especially terrible because it’s Christmas season and she can’t drive.
My parents, my brother, sister and I always go to my grandmother’s house in Kewanee, Illinois for Thanksgiving.
The thing you must understand about Kewanee to fully understand the diversity in the state of Illinois is that it’s basically a different state compared to living an hour west of Chicago (as I currently do). The people are rougher, the southern accent is thicker and most born in Kewanee don’t leave the town. They get shitty jobs making shitty money to support their overweight wives and (generally speaking) hopeless kids.
My grandmother is a sweet lady, but she almost died four years ago. I know what you’re thinking: she nearly died from pneumonia, a fall down the stairs or something most older people die from.
But no, she nearly died from the fire started when the meth lab next door exploded and burned to the ground.
As you’ve probably heard, rural America has a serious problem with meth and the production of meth in what are called meth labs. Now, to call something a lab is to imply that there is some sort of science going on. But in most of these meth labs across America (including, I would imagine, most in Kewanee), it’s just a bunch of strung-out hillbillies mixing chemicals together.
Chemicals + Hillbillies = Fire
The amazing thing about my grandma’s house not burning down was that her house and the one that no longer stands were less than 20 feet apart.
I don’t know how meth and Thanksgiving tie into each other, but I thought you might like to know a little bit about where I will be going for Thanksgiving.
My grandmother’s house is the most prominent tradition my family has. At her house, we participate in the nation-wide traditions of overeating, watching football and sleeping throughout the day.
In addition, I try to keep my own little personal Thanksgiving tradition alive every year. For the last three years, I’ve managed to watch the “Shibboleth” episode of The West Wing (the one where CJ is in charge of pardoning a turkey and the president gives Charlie his personal carving knife) and “A Deep-Fried Korean Thanksgiving” of Gilmore Girls. Both episodes aren’t anywhere close to the best episodes in either series, but I think they set the mood for the holiday nicely and I’m going to try to work them into my schedule tomorrow.
There isn’t an overarching theme for this post or any point really, other than to let you know a little more about me. Oh, and a forum to say how thankful I am to everyone who reads and comments on this site on a daily basis. It may be only five minutes out of your day, but my day becomes exponentially better when I receive comments on the site.
My sincerest of thank yous to you, loyal reader of RipcordNews.com. Please stay safe and enjoy your holiday.
{ 3 comments… read them below or add one }
I’m sorry about your grandmother. meth is the worst.
happy thanksgiving.
Dude, Eric! My mom broke her leg in three places a few weeks ago and she’s down for the count until after Christmas, probably. Which is scary because she now lives alone. Sorry about the meth lab explosion. Your little equation is 100% correct.
Happy Thanksgiving – hope things go smoothly for your mother.
Yeah, I’ve been talking with people and it seems everyone knows someone this has happened to and it’s all women too. Very, very weird.